Stop being an outsider...

Two posts in one month...wow that is unusual :)...

(the photo is from a wedding of one of my friends)

Recently I have doing a lot of thinking...this is normal for me...well it used to be...before I became so inundated with new experiences that I didn't have the opportunity to process and absorb (ie thinking for me), but instead just caught what I could and tried to survive. (People sometimes use the analogy of a fire hydrant being turned on you, you are soaking with new experiences, but you don't actually have time to enjoy or learn from the experiences). The problem with this is you aren't as intentional with your actions, you are in survival mode...moving from one thing to the next without thinking or planning, you take the high and lows, and store the lessons to be applied to your life at a later time.

But the last few weeks, things have slowed down (I am not sure what to accredit this slow down to, whether it is just the summertime slowdown- everyone takes vacations before the Ramadan holiday, or if it is because I have now been here 1.5 years and have adjusted quite a bit to the culture here), and I have had a few conversations with a friend that made me realize where I am. It has been like waking up from a dream, to find that the dream has affected you in many ways, some good, some bad. I realized I was using the phrase "I am not like this in America" often. This can be a good thing, meaning I have adapted to the culture around me, and a bad thing if you are using it as an excuse, ie getting upset from a taxi overcharging you by $2.

The other day I went to the cinema with a group of friends. They were all Egyptian :). As we were waiting for the movie time, part of the group sat around a table in the concession area and began speaking in Arabic, and others were talking with friends they had run into. I looked around at my group of friends and suddenly felt like the outsider. I wandered down the hall to look at cinema posters for movies "coming soon" while I pondered this feeling. I didn't get far before one of my friends tracked me down to ask why I was alone. I have this feeling of being an outsider a lot, though less than when I first arrived, and despite this being the most welcoming and inviting culture I have ever been in. It caught me by surprise especially because this group of friends have been really encouraging to me, and they are helping me learn Arabic but still speak English around me so I can be apart of the conversations. So why did I feel like the outsider?

It wasn't until days later that I realized it wasn't the actions of my friends that brought on this feeling, but like most things regarding culture, it was a difference of perspectives. My friends, (this group in particular) no longer think of me as an outsider. They tell Egyptian jokes and look puzzled if I don't get them, they ask me for information about history of Egypt or cultural questions regarding Egypt. They even joke that I am more Egyptian than some of them, (many of them grew up in Kuwait or gulf states). But then I realized, I still think of myself as an outsider.

When I first arrived, I would often watch before I would do, to see how things were done, I was so afraid to do something wrong and offend someone. Even small things like asking for a seat at a restaurant, telling directions to a taxi driver, buying items from a kiosk or a candy stand. But I am no longer new. I need to stop thinking of myself as the outsider and readjust my thinking. When I first arrived, watching before doing worked well, but it is now time to stop being a guest and trust what I have learned. If I want to stop feeling like an outsider :), than I need to stop acting like one. And for this I am excited and happy...maybe just maybe...I have found a home away from home for now.

Mid Summer :)

My first experience in Egypt was over the 4th of July back in 2002. Wow has it been 8 years ago?! The American Embassy threw a huge party for all the American expats, students, visitors, in Egypt. It was a lot of fun I remember!

Last year rumor had it the party was canceled because of President Obama's visit to the country just the month prior to the 4th, but the party was canceled again this year, leaving the Americans exchanging messages on a list-serv asking what other parties or events were available to celebrate the 4th. I remember it seeming a bit ironic to me when I heard of people outside the USA celebrating the 4th of July, but after living abroad for a few years, I realize the need to capture the moments and celebrations of the familiar, and the importance of remembering your own heritage in the midst of being submerged in another.

So for me, there were no fireworks for the 4th of July over the Nile, but I did celebrate with a dinner at a nice steakhouse and by going to a club to listen to some live jazz music (what is more American than that? okay maybe ragtime?). Conversations with my family back home, who were grilling hamburgers outside, surrounded by 4 wheelers, bales of freshly cut alfalfa, and a sense of peace (with the exception of my little brothers playing with blackcats) now that harvest of wheat is done, made me miss home.

The past few months have been full of work (getting into nice routine now and still enjoying the work for the most part), hanging out with friends (I should really remember to start taking more photos of us hanging out), and looking for a new flat and car. My lease on my current flat ends August 1st, and on Wednesday my Italian roommate and I will sign a lease on a new one. The new one has a rooftop area for BBQs and watching TV, but with a view of the Nile from up there, I don't expect the TV to be on much :). I love having dinner parties with friends, and so I am really excited about this part of the new flat.

Social life is important here. Back home usually the second question you get asked is "where do you work?", here it is something along the lines of "who are your friends?". Not really that direct, but usually in the first conversation you begin to find mutual friends. The social networks here work both electronically and in 1st person. Usually my friends and I hang out at someone's flat and watch a movie, go out to dinner, play cards or board games, or go to a club to listen to live music, pretty much the same stuff as in the states, it is just a lot more frequent! LOL! The other day one of my friends was saying how he hadn't had time to hang out with the "gang" (my nickname for one of my groups of friends that are connected at the hip) recently. That week the "gang" had gone to his flat to watch a movie one night, another night had gone to watch Toy Story 3 together and to dinner afterwards, and to a coffeehouse another night to watch one of the semi-final matches of the World Cup...hanging out three times in one week...and they were all feeling like they hadn't hung out much :). I love spending time with friends, but I must admit sometimes I play hookie from the hang out times...my introvertedness gets the better of me. But I am thankful for the friends in my life right now. Life in Egypt is stressful (even just crossing the street), challenging (language and cultural barriers), hard (fighting with landlords over repairs and taxi drivers for change or directions), and the opposite of convenient (they are not linear in processes, conversations, driving, parking, or even standing in line), but it is friends that encourage you, teach you, and share their knowledge and life with you, that make it the beautiful culture that it is, and I have to admit, the landscape is beautiful as well :) (remembering a recent weekend trip to the Red Sea, surrounded by rugged mountains and beautiful water).

So here's to summer and enjoying time with friends! :)

....Ramadan starts in just a little over a month, hard to believe it is almost here already...